Wobbly War

Two armies. One felt tabletop. Zero dignity.

Wobbly War is a physics battle simulator fought entirely by pool toys. Spend your point budget placing squeaky soldiers on your half of the green felt table — balloon knights, spear-wielding geese, armoured turtles, a grandma with a pumpkin catapult, and one enormous inflatable chicken — then hit GO and take your hands off the controls.

What happens next is not up to you. Every soldier is a bundle of capsules and spheres held together by springy joints, so they waddle, flail, bounce off wooden blocks and cartwheel through the air when something big hits them. A wizard's push blast can send an entire front line into orbit. A pin cushion can pop a boss in three jabs. When the last soldier falls, slow motion kicks in and the camera swoops onto the knockout.

Nine units, each with a genuine counter to another. Six challenge tables with fixed enemy armies that reward reading the matchup, plus a free sandbox where the budget is enormous and nobody is keeping score.

Orbit the table. Build your army. Press GO. Laugh.