The Weirdics

Welcome to The Weirdics — the championship where the athletes are weird, the events are weirder, and the trophy is a solid-gold screaming chicken.

Step onto the track as Glorp, a lanky one-eyed hopeful with noodle arms and a heart of gold, and take on the smug flamingo-headed muscle mountain Baron von Flex across three gloriously ridiculous events:

• Wobble Dash 100m — pound the pavement in rhythm... mash too fast and you'll wobble into a faceplant.
• Salmon Fling — the ancient sport of hurling a giant googly-eyed fish as far as physics allows.
• Hurdle Hysteria — sprint, leap, and try not to eat 40 meters of track.

Earn gold, silver, or bronze in every event, rack up medal points, and claim your place atop the podium while the blob crowd goes absolutely wild. Fail, and enjoy the world's saddest trombone. Every event is replayable — chase your best marks and become the Weirdest of them all.